Bruce

Bruce Bogtrotter

Yes, miss?

You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce?

Yes, Miss Trunchbull! And I'm very sorry

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. As long as you enjoyed the cake.

That's the main thing

Is it?

Yes! Bogtrotter, it is

Oh. Well, I did. Thank you

Wonderful. Marvellous. That makes me so happy.

It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Oh, cook . .

♪

What's the matter, Bogtrotter? Lost your appetite?

Well, yes. I'm full

Oh, no, you are not "full". I'll tell you when you are full.

And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake

But

No "buts". You haven't got time for "but". Eat

But I can't eat it all!

Headmistress, he'll be sick!

He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake!

Eat!

He can't!

Eat!

He surely can't!

Eat!

He might explode!

Eat!!

A single slice

Or even two, Bruce

Might have been nice

But even you, Bruce

Have to admit

Between you and it

There's not a lot of difference in size

He can't! (He can! Bruce!)

He surely can't!

He surely can't! (You are the man, Bruce!)

He might explode!

(He's quite elastic . . .)

He's going to blow. Make him stop!

(He's fantastic! Look at him go!)

I can't watch!

I think in effect

This must confirm, Bruce

What we all suspected

You have a worm

Bruce!

Or maybe your largeness

Is like the TARDIS:

Considerably roomier inside

He can't! (He can!)

He surely can't!

He surely can't! (You are the man, Bruce!)

B-R-O-O-C-E!

Bruce!

You'll never again be subject to abuse

For your immense caboose

She'll call a truce, Bruce

With every swallow, you are tightening the noose

We never thought it was possible

But here it is, coming true:

We can have our cake and it it too!

The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use

No excuse, Bruce

Let out your belt. I think you'll want your trousers loose

Oh

Stuff it in. (Bruce!) You're almost finished. (Bruce!)

You'll fit it in

Whatever you do, just don't give in

Don't let her win

Come on, Bruce, be our hero

Cover yourself in chocolate glory!

It's too much! It's just too much!

Go on, Bruce. Do it

Silence!

♪

Oh

Bruce!

You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose

She'll call a truce, Bruce

Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose

We never thought it was possible

But here it is, coming true:

We can have our cake and eat it –

Ah-ah-aah-ah

Ah-ah-aah-ah

Ah-ah-aah-ah

Ah-ah-aah-ah

♪

Go on, Brucey!