Somewhere That's Green

I know Seymour's the greatest

But I'm dating a semi-sadist

So I got a black eye and my arm's in a cast

Still, that Seymour's a cutie (hahaha)

Well, if not, he's got inner beauty

And I dream of a place where we could be together at last

And what kind of place is that, honey, an emergency room?

Oh no, it's just a daydream of mine

A little development I dream of, just off the interstate

Not fancy, like Levittown

Just a little street in a little suburb

Far, far from urban Skid Row

The sweetest, greenest place

Where everybody has the same little lawn out front

And the same little flagstone patio out back

All the houses are so neat and pretty

As they all look just alike

Oh, I dream about it all the time

Just me and the toaster

And a sweet little guy, like Seymour

A matchbox of our own

A fence of real chain link

A grill out on the patio

Disposal in the sink

A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine

In a tract house that we share

Somewhere that's green

He rakes and trims the grass

He loves to mow and weed

I cook like Betty Crocker

And I look like Donna Reed

There's plastic on the furniture

To keep it neat and clean

In the Pine-Sol scented air

Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner

And our bedtime, 9:15

We snuggle watching Lucy

On our big, enormous 12-inch screen

I'm his December Bride

He's father, he knows best

Our kids watch Howdy Doody

As the sun sets in the west

A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine

Far from Skid Row

I dream we'll go

Somewhere that's green