I Found A Hobby

It started when

A lad of 10

I told my friends

"I'll meet cha,

At Dr. Blood's revenge"

Which was

A gruesome

Horror feature.

And when I saw

The awesome torture chamber in that flick,

I found I got a hard-on,

While the other kids got sick.

I found a hobby.

I found a hobby.

Out in the lobby,

I went insane.

A voice inside me,

Said, "Kid you love it,

I think you're into heavy pain"

By 13 years

I'd taught my peers

About bondage and submission.

Gave illustrated lectures on

The Spanish Inquisition.

Some boys take dirty books to the jon

And give themselves a whack.

I did the same with lithographs,

Of thumbscrews and the rack.

At 22

The time came due

To choose a life's profession.

I struggled hard to think of one

In line with mine obsession.

I could have been a boxer

Or lawyer, yeah, I guess.

But no one causes suffering

Like a licensed DDS.

And now my hobby

Ain't just my hobby,

No, its-a my job

To make

The patients shake with fear.

What started out as

A secret pastime

Is now my hobby...

And my career.

Say "Ahh"